Misc. Essays

This week has seemed a bit odd to me, where matters of language and writing are concerned. To wit:

Fruits of Our Kermissive Time (or Old Frog, New Legs)

Having recently dumped Miss Piggy, his favorite porker and main squeeze these many years, Kermit the Frog has been seen out and about with a new love interest. And yes, pork is still the other white meat. At least His Venerable Greenness isn’t cavorting with a chicken.

Enter the lovely and gracious Denise. Okay, I don’t actually know whether she’s gracious, and to me she’s really only lovely in comparison to a certain older, full-figured, feminist pig puppet who has irritated me for years, whom I tolerated out of personal respect for her boyfriend. But I’d bet money that she has a sweeter personality than Ms. Piggy; how could she not, unless she, too, is a raging narcissist?

I’m not sure anyone has documented what Kermit sees in her, but some irate feminists think they know — and they’re angry. You see, Denise is younger, not known to be a feminist, and is most definitely, ahem, leaner.